Quotes from Unnecessary Roughness


Maxine: This is Detective Tarnower. Despite all evidence to the contrary he considers himself an amusing man.

Tarnower: Is your mother single?
Lauren: She's divorced.
Tarnower: Boyfriend?
Lauren: She could if she wanted.

Donna: I heard intense nausea means an intelligent child.
Vincent: Well, then, you're obviously carrying Albert Einstein.

Amy: Oh! Oh, Detective Hornblower.
Tarnower: Tarnower.

Lolly: You know my Gary's gifted.
Amy: Gary who... who shaved off his eyebrows?
Lolly: Well, he's only gifted in math. I mean, he can't spell logarithms but he can do 'em in his head.

Maxine: My anger is ignited by...
Counselor: Just let it flow, Maxine.
Maxine: ...by men who beat children to death with extension cords and women who plunge babies into scalding water so they'll stop crying. My anger is ignited by fathers who rape their daughters and pregnant women who take crack and drink alcohol without a thought for the tiny souls they ar damning to a lifetime of pain. Babies in dumpsters. Drug overdoses. Burns, cuts, gunshot wounds. Wasted minds and ruined lives. My... my anger is ignited by a society that pays lipservice to its children while treating them as anothing more than a marketing demographic and by schools that are falling apart and teachers so numbed by... by violence and fear that they've stopped teaching. But what's really pissing me off today is a room full of supposed grown-ups who think that... that bad drivers and loud talkers and hips are worth getting angry about when all the rest of that actual evil is loose in the world.

Tarnower: I worked my way through medical school as a paramedic. I chose pathology because the patients didn't scream as much.

Tarnower: Your pupils are dilated... an indicator of sexual interest... or a massive head injury.

Grandma, I don't like that skin on top of my hot chocolate.
Maxine: It seals in the flavor, Lauren, don't knock it.

Maxine: How'd your date go?
Amy: Do I have a league?
Maxine: Of course you do.
Amy: And he's not in it?
Maxine: It's just as well.
Amy: I feel so shallow and vain.
Maxine: Nonsense. If you were vain you'd dress better and do something with your hair.

Amy: I can't believe that there is a club that my daughter is not allowed to belong to.
Maxine: There are hundred of them. And she's going to be left out and excluded all over the place. There will even be people who don't like her.
Amy: Mrs. Schleewee doesn't like her.
Maxine: Exactly.
Amy: I want Mrs. Schleewee to be hit by a tractor.
Maxine: That's appopriate.

Maxine: Have some cookies with your normal daughter.

Terry: Are you sorry about slamming my johnny in that door?
Maxine: Nope. Keep your damn johnny out of my gas tank.


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