Maxine: Did you leave your curds and whey in dressing room?

Amy: Bridesmaids are supposed to be friends of the bride.
Gillian: All her friends are men. She's chased away all the women.

Lily: Take the new admit in E.R.
Kyle: What's he showing?
Lily: Fever, chills, sever abdominal pain. I'm guessing fecal impaction.
Kyle: Something's stuck up his a...?

Stu: I didn't mean to run them off. Well, I did, I just didn't mean for it to be so obvious.

Stu: Can we say out loud that this dinner is the official rekindling of whatever was going on before I lost my mind and went to Sri Lanka?
Amy: Consider it officially said out loud.
Stu: Excellent.

Maxine: Has anyone seen my fake sugar in the annoying little pink bags?

Gillian: There are miracles all around us.

Amy: Like a pot-mitvah?

Amy: Oh, I've seen this on TV. It means I get to come back next week.

Bruce: I see you didn't get voted off the island.

Kyle: What hospital did they send the other guy to?
Stu: I would have punched him, but it would have required standing up.

Lily: Maybe I'm a little cranky. Maybe I couldn't afford to lose an intern right now just because you decided to throw a juvenile Animal Farm party.
Kyle: Animal House. You're trying to say Animal House. Animal Farm is a book about socialist livestock. That would be a very different party.
Lily: You know what I meant.

Amy: He took me to a, uh, lovely romantic restaurant. We, uh, we had a nice time. Uh, and then we had to drop by St. Mike's so Kyle could give him eleven stitches. You don't wanna hear about it.
Bruce: Oh, I think I do.

Maxine: I think you're a wonderful daughter-in-law, and I truly love you. And I don't think I've ever told you that before.

Maxine: You can't tell Lauren that you did drugs at the ame time you're asking her not to. You can't give her permission to kill herself just because you were an idiot.